It is really me who is going alone to India?
No, but wait…..really??
I keep asking me this question for days, while I stare at the void space and most probably with a goofy expression printed on my face.
I’m writing this post from Dubai Airport, waiting for my connection to Bangalore. I surely have the same goofy face while I type on the keyboard (imagine my stupid face illuminated by the notebook’s light in an airport at night). Although it’s 1 am there is true chaos of passengers and shopping around me, so I stand up in the attempt of distracting myself with something foolish until I see this (it’s a CUP!!!):
I take it as a message from the universe: stay seated and meditate on this inner noise you have!
I booked this trip last October, I (and I underline I!) did all by myself, from choosing where to go to booking every single flight, accommodation. I applied for the visa, contacted the yoga teachers, and so on. So why on earth I felt so confused in the last few days?
My very good friend Nadia gave me the answer!
“you love giving yourself challenges, but it’s when you have to put your plans into practice that comes the difficult part!”
That’s it, I knew it.
I’m a strong, independent woman, who one day decided to pack and go completely alone to India. And now that I really had to jump on that plane, I was freaking out for getting out of my lovely, Swiss, glossy and punctual comfort zone.
We all have one, and we live within it most of our time. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much we rely on it until something or someone gives us a shake. At that moment, we exit from our soft, cozy, well-known comfort zone and step into the exciting, unpredictable unknown.
If the comfort zone were an animal, it would be most probably a dog or a sloth, while the animal of the un-comfort zone is definitely a wild cat, a jaguar or a panther or…. one of those super fast-moving spiders.
I was running for a while in the circle of my routine: my day-job as an architect, my yoga classes, cooking, taking photos.
One day I woke up and literally the first thought that came to my mind while I was still in bed was VARANASI.
I might have dreamt of it, but I’m not sure, about it.
Something in my mind made a click during the night and started kicking me out day after day, out of my comfort zone.
I took unpaid holidays, organized the itinerary, booked everything, and went back to my cozy routine looking forward to jumping on that plane. It was so far away, in more than two months. So far away! I kept doing my life, telling friends and relatives about my wonderful trip to India, in December and January. One day the happy cozy-me was reminded by an email from Emirates that it was the moment to choose my seat for my flight to Bangalore.
O-M-G. That’s really me.
And here I am, almost on the flight to mama India, recording every minute of this sweet wait, observing the changes in my mind, my mental status and above all living the present with (I try my very best!) no expectations because a trip to India is not like all the other trips.
A trip to India is a journey through your imperfectly perfect, contradictory, chaotic, but unique Self.
And I’m pretty sure it’s going to be amazing.